


Navel Oranges

by Skeletor



Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: M/M, this is a joke fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-24 03:40:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2566904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skeletor/pseuds/Skeletor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek really likes navel oranges</p>
            </blockquote>





	Navel Oranges

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Scubby (notatallginger)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notatallginger/gifts).



Derek sauntered into the grocery store. The overwhelming scent of a mix of grocery store items, like food, mixing in his sensitive wherewolf nostrils, creating an almost miasmic smell that smelled. Smelly.  
He was there to buy some navel oranges, his favorite citrus fruit from an trees. His bird like features craning to see how many oranges there were. There were 57 oranges. He was rock hard at this calculation  
As Derek was lusting over these navel oranges, he noticed a man watching him. A buzzcutted kinda baby faced man. The man's name was stiles. He knew this because werewolves are all knowing.  
"Stiles" he growled, archaicly  
"H-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-how do you know my name bird man" stiles stuttered.  
"I just KNOW ok gosh LEAVE ME ALONE" he growled. GOD this young man was so sruPID, but something about him reminded him of those sexual steamy navel oranges. Something about his round shaved head and literally nothing else because a person is a person and a navel Orange is an navel Orange. Heeehn yheh.  
"My name is derek and im a werewolf and u remind me of a navel orange which makes me want to FECKLE u"  
"WOW MR. BIRDWOLF FUCK MEEE wow yeah"  
"MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMHhhhheh"  
Derek hoisted 6 navel oranges from the orange pile and also stiles and ran from the store, not every paying for his prizes of succulent navel oranges.  
Stiles wet in the bum with wanting the 8====D.  
They hid behind a bush because the WET WANTING was too strong TO HANDLE  
Derek pulled off stiles' onesie, and proceeded to just straight up shove oranges of the navel persuasion up stiles's's ano.  
Derek was a little puzzled kinda  
"Why are these going in so easy holy shit"  
Stiles laughed "because, sexi birdman, during the cold winter periods, I must store food for hibernation and store various snacks up my anus!"  
"What the Fuck"  
" ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯"  
At that moment, the maximum citrus capacity was surpassed in stiles's anus, and several shot out at MAXIMUM SPEEDS, rolling across the street.  
"STILES, WALK WALK WALK TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND PICK UP AN ORANGE"  
stiles walked  to the side of the road and picked up the oranges "I GOT THEM DEREK I G-"  
Just then, a rare bread of snake attached to his uvula, killing him instantly.  
Derek cried a single tear. That was the only man he knew that could fit that many navel oranges into his anus. Wow.  
Then Derek realized. He could not find his solid gold diamond encrusted watch. He knew where it was. He leaned over stiles' twitching body, and vowed to buy a new watch someday.


End file.
